Monkchee se batain..

Monkchee...hey. kaisa hai? busy busy with him on phone!!! he he...chor kahin ka!! Mujhe ek dam se kyu bhul gaya Monkchee. Meri yad bilkul bhi nahi aati? Jab jab usne tujhe I love you bola hai, kya tera dil bilkul waise hi dhadka hai, jaise mere liye dhaka tha? Kya tu bhi usko wapis I love you bolta hoga? Mujh se badnaseeb bhi koi hoga kya Is duniya me jo apne samne apni Girl friend ko kisi or ki hota dekh raha hai, or chah kar bhi kuch nahi kar sakta. Din me bahoot kam aise pal honge jab un palon me tu na beete. Kuch aatma watma wala rishta juda hai yar tujh se. to fir kaise juda ho payega tu. mere har sans me, meri ragon me tu hi to daudta hai. hamesha jab bhi tujhe mahsoos karta hun..ek ajeeb sa nasha, ek ajeeb sa dar,, or ek ajeeb see neend aane lagti hai..Doctor iskko low blood pressure kahte hain..haha..tu mere dimag ke sath sath ab body ko bhi control karne lagi? he he!!!!! Kaise beetegi ye zindgi tujh bin monks. Kisi or ka main kaise ho paunga ab? Mujh me ab koi pyar kisi ke liye baki nahi hai, sab to tu le ja chuki apne sath. Ab kuch baki nahi mujh me. Main impotent jaisa ho gaya hun yar..kuch feel hi nahi kar pata kisi k liye bhi.... ohhh tujhe uska call aane wala hoga..or tu bhi soch rahi hogi k kab main jaoon.....chal fir bye.

Wo hamsafar sa...

Meri Monx kaisi hogi? Do din se bat bhi nahi huyi? usne kah jo diya ke Neeji han ! main or wo late night calls bhi karte hain ek doosre ke sath. mujhe ye sab pahle se to pata tha, tujh se mere samne kuchh chhupta to hai nahi. meri Monkchee mere liye hi to sab jhoot bolti rahi..k kahin main toot na jaoon. Hamesha mujhe ek practical aadmi bolti thi, par samay aane par practical decision usi ne liya. Mujhe chhdone ka practical decision. ye end hai ya ek naya start? Aisa kyo hota hai k ham sath sath chalte to hain par sath sath pahunchte kahin nahi. Ye zindagi kaise kaise mod par le aati hai. Shuru me sab kuch aisa jaise Geele geele bahoot se rang kisi canvas par failne ko bekrar, failte bhi hain, ek adhoori si tasweer bhi ubharti hai par fir ye rang feeke hote jate hain or fir aati hai ek black & white nayi duniya jahan safed Dhund se bhare raste hain, jahan kuch dikhta hi nahi, pahle unhi rahon par sath sath chalte hain, phir achanak hath choot jata hai, par phir bhi kayi sal aisa guman hota hai k hath hi to chuuta hai to kya hua, wo hai to yahin sath me hi to chal raha hai. fir jab waqt ek lamba sa mod leta hai kareeb ded sal lamba mod, to pata chalta hai, jiske sath hone ka guman tha wo ab sath nahi, wo to ab rah badal chuka hai, ek nayi rah, ek naya rasta jo hamari zindagi wale raste k sath sath hi chalta hai kabhi door ho jata hai, kabhi pass, or kabhi bas thodi der ke liye hi hamare raste me bhi mil jata hai, fir dhund chhant ti hai to dikhata hai wahi hamsafar jo kabhi hamare sath chal raha tha, ab kisi or ka hamsafar ho gaya hai, chal wo bhi raha hai par rasta alag hai, hath bhi alag ab nazron me wo chamk nahi, jo ek dusre ko dekh kar aati thi. Fir dil ek lambi si aah bharta hai or sochta hai k wo kaun sa pal tha jab uska hath chuta tha, agar nahi chuta hota to wo sath me hota.

Tune mujh se cigarette peena to apni kasam de kar chhuda diya, ek bar palat kar dekh to leti k kitna mushqil ho gaya hai ab jeena. Tu nahi thi isliye to ciigarete peeta tha..tu ab bhi nahi..or ab cigarette bhi nahi. Tere bagair kuch hai hi nahi Monks..tu thi to sab kuch tha mere pass. Ab jaise lagta hai k kuch baki nahi raha. M shocked to see how much you have involved youself into him. M just shocked to see your behavior Monks. Tune to mujhe bhula hi diya yar. Itna neglected & ignored maine kabhi bhi feel nahi kiya. Aisa us me kya hai? Tujhe pata hai tere bagair main kitna pareshan hun..tune tab bhi mujhe ignore kiya na Monks. Main teri jagah hota to aisa kabhi nahi karta.

Bus ride with her..

Pichhle kal tum phir se wahi purani meri Monks lag rahi thi. tera mere kandhe par or God me sar rakh kar sona aaj bahoot yad aa raha hai. Tere hathon me kal k jaisi massage kash main zindagi bhar kar sakta, jab jab tu taklif me hoti. Tu fir se mili, or fir se bichhad gayi. Ek or pyari si yad mere-tere yadon ke khazane me jud gayi, kabhi na bhulne k liye, main thoda sa or ameer ho gaya. Hum pahle bhi kayi bar to aaye hain sath-sath apne apne ghar ke liye, fark sirf itna tha k pahle tu hamesha mujh se bichhadte huye udas ho jaya karti thi, par Is bar tu udas nahi thi. Chor pakdi gayi na!!! Par kal main apne mental conflicts se kahin door bas tere sath tha.

Or ek aaj ka din hai, kitna udas. Sometimes past makes present beautiful, somtimes makes unhappy, alone & sad.

Guzri tarikhain...2009-10

Wo
khoobsoorat din
guzar gaye
phir kabhi na laut kar aane k liye

ab bas kuch
gungunati si hawayain
aati hain..
un dino ki
bheegi bheegi si yadain lekar

jo
phir thahra karti hain
der tak
aankhon me
boondain bankar

missing you my Monx

Badaltey Rishtey

huye na begaane bhi
tum hoke aur ke,
Dekho tum na mere hi bane

Tera Intezaar...jaise intezaar zindagi ka

Bahoot dino se tum dooor us ke sath jati dikhayi to de rahi thi....Beete kuchh dino se tera dikhna kuch dhundla sa ho gaya tha..par aaj to tum doooor tak kahi bhi dikhayi nahi de rahi Monx. Ek bar peeeche mud kar dekh to le...tere bina kitna akela rah gaya hun. EK aakhri bar jee bhar kar gale to lagne de..ek aakhiri bar jee bhar kar ro to lene de. Main nahi Rokunga tujhe Monks. Bas ek bar phir se wapis jane ke liye aa ja. Abhi kuchh din or tera intezaar yahin par khada karoonga Monx. Tu aayegi na?

Love Hurts

Love hurts & hits hard to the core.

Main yad aaoonga..

Monk & Chee

Jao tum..sapno ke safar me

jago ge jo mahki sahar me

main yad aaoonga.

jitna bhi mujh ko bhulaoge

jitna bhi door tum jaoge

main yad aaoonga.

jab dil se tum muskuraoge..

ashq kaise fir rok paoge..

jo yad aaoonga.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCF9SJUmmvk 

Wo ab Ajnabi sa Mujh se Milta hai..

Mere liye sab se mushqil kam tujhe uske pass jane dena tha monks. Wo main kar chuka. Tu chali gayi par ab tera mujh se yun ajnabi ke jaise milna nahi saha jata. Maine ye to nahi socha tha ke tum yun mujhe bhula dogi. Kitni aasani se tu mujhe samjha rahi thi k Neeji kisi se mil, batain kar or fir sab theek ho jayega.


Jaise tumhare sath sab theek ho gaya na Monks? Kitni aasani se tum ne mujhe out kar diya. Fir main kyo nahi kar saka aisa? Janta hun ab tum mujhe yad nahi karti par Kabhi to koi to ek aisa pal aayega jab tum bhi mujhe fir se waise hi yad karogi, jaise pahle kiya karti thi or jaise main tujhe har pal ab bhi karta hun


.Main janta hun tujhe bhula doon to mere sath sab theek ho jayega. Par kyo main tujhe fir bhulana hi nahi chahta...Mujhe pata hai bas isi tarah hi to tu mere pass me hai hamari yadain bankar.jab chahe tujhe yad kar k tujh se batain kar sakta hun. or aksar karta bhi to hun..meri baton k jawab bhi tum kya dogi, mujhe wo bhi to pata hai na Monks. Agar bhula diya maine tujhe to tujhe kho dunga, fir kya rahega mere pass tera? to kaise bhula sakta hun fir?.Ab mujhe tujhe yad karte rahne me ajeeb sa maza aane laga hai.

 .

How could you?

You broke me, you broke my heart,
you broke everything including my Soul.
You turned my world upside down and inside out,
BUT I know it was worth it for
that one moment of love we had, I loved you like i loved my Mom.
Only sad thing is, it went worst in the end.
Why you hide things like this My Monks.
Do you kno that I kno you are that much involved as you were with me.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Did you really crossed the limits Monks? AAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
How could you? How??????????????????????????????????


Still missing you Monks after knowing that you are not the same My Monks.

Mujh se koi bat to kar..!

Mujh se koi bat to kar Monkchee...Bas yun hi do minute k liye hi sahi...Jhoot hi sahi...mera dil rakhne k liye hi sahi...phone to kar le My Monks..Pichhle kal se tere ek sms ka wait kar raha hun....tujh bin bahoot bechainee ho rahi hai. Is tarah kyo badal gayi tum Monks. Tune to kaha tha k jitne bhi din main Shimla aayi hun ham roz milenge. Parson tu kitni khush thi...main janta hun is khushi ka karan...or main tujhe yun khush dekh kar khush bhi hun Monks...bas dukh is bat ka hai.. teri is khushi me main tere ander se mit ta ja rah hun. Aaj tune yahan aane k liye kaha hai, tu nahi aane wali hai na.?

Tujh bin Monks main, main hi nahi raha. I lost u, i lost myself.

Wo ja Rahi hai...

Ab uske sms sirf morning me or din ko hi aane lage hain. wo bhi bahoot kam. Ab wo rat me na sms karti hai na call. mere sms ka reply bhi nahi karti. Wo ratain jo kabhi sirf mere liye thi ab wo kisi or ki ho gayi hain. Wo mujhe kyo ignore kar rahi hai shayad ye bhi main janta hun. Seedhe seedhe kah bhi nahi sakti na, ke Chheeki main ek naye rishte ki taraf ja chuki hun. mujhe bhool jao.
Main itne din se yahi to chah raha tha k bas wo khush rahe, kahin aisa na ho ke wo mujhe yad karti rahe. Agar aisa hota to main to jee hi nahi pata. thank God problem me main hun, wo nahi. M happy for you Monkchee.

FUCK this LIFE

Na usko cheen sakta hun, na usko jane de sakta hun, na hi khud ko mar sakta hun..Itna bebas kabhi mahsoos nahi kiya khud ko...I really wish k mera accident ho jaye..or main kuch 4-5 sal ke liye COMA me chala jaoon. Phir jab uthun to pata chale ke kitna kuchh badal gaya. Shayad tab itni frustration na ho..or shayad tab thoda aasan ho sab kuchh accept karna.. Thats the only solution to get over from this depression.

Kuch baki.....

janti ho? k mujhe pata hai abhi tum us se bat kar rahi hogi. I love you bhi bolti ho kya? us k sath bhi whispering me batain karti ho? Meri yad bhi aa jati hai kya kabhi kabhi beech me? usko tumhari sanson ki awazain bhi aati hongi jab tum kuch nahi bol rahi hoti hogi.   aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soch kar hi kuch kar baithne ka dil kar ta hai. hathon ki ungliyon se lekar pairon ki ungliyon tak kuch aisa feel hota hai jaise kitni hi lakhon suiyan chubbha di ho kisi ne or ab thodi hi der me ye Hath Paon kam karna band kar denge.  kal se tum ne mere sms k reply bhi nahi kiye. main tumhare one liner reply se samjh gaya tha monx k tum us k sath phone par busy ho ya chatting kar rahi ho. Aaj ek bat to pata chal gayi k jisne bhi kaha tha "pyar ek hi bar hota hai"..wo galat tha...dusri bar bhi ho sakta hai. pata chal gaya. Tumhe pata hai? tum se alag alag rahte huye jab bhi main shimla aata tha mujhe sab wo jagah dekhne ka dil karta tha jahan jahan hum bar bar jaya karte the or baithe rahte the ya walk karte the, par aaj jiase hi kisi ne kaha k "Choice" chalte hain, mujh se wahan jaya hi nahi gaya..agar main wahan chala jata na to pakka ro padta. Main apne hathon me ab bhi tumhare hathon ki chhuan mahsoos kar sakta hun monx. Meri bahon me abhi bhi hamare hug ki garmi baki hai. Maine aaj tak kabhi socha hi nahi k tum kisi or ki bhi ho sakti ho. Main tumhe share nahi kar sakta. aadhi adhoori jitni bhi bachi ho mere ander, wahan se chali jao tum plz. Kuch baki mat rakhna. Main to himmat nahi kar paa raha k tum ko nikal doon. kabhi kar bhi nahi paunga. khud hi chali jao.

 Tum wahi ho na? NAhi ab tum meri tum nahi ho. wo aisi ho hi nahi sakti..meri wo mar gayi..tum ne mar diya us ko. Itni himmat kaise juta payi tum monx? I cant believe tumhe us se pyar ho gaya? Ek din wo meri Monx ko chhuega bhi.....!!!!!!!!!!!! tab tak to mere aansoo bhi sukh chuke honge, tab bhi kya ye aankain bheeg payengi?
           

Yadon ka bojh kitna bhari hota hai

Pichhle do din or khaskar Beeti rat mere liye aaj tak ki sab se boori rat thi. Shayad wo mujhse bat karne k bad chain se soyi, usne apna sara bojh jo utar diya tha, is bat se anjan k Ab wo sara bojh mujhe uthana hai, rat bhar uthaya, abhi jane kitne din or uthana padega, ya phir sari zindagi. Par main janta hun ab wo kitni relax hogi. Aaj ham ne ek doosre ko kho diya ya kho kar paa liya pata nahi.  Wo chali gayi ek naye raste par, use koi mil jo gaya tha, main ab bhi wahin baitha hun us bojh k sath. Usne theek to kiya, us se mujhe koi Gila bhi to nahi. Akhir kab tak rahti mere sath, akhir kab tak intezar karti.....tum hamesha rahogi mere sath mera ahsas bankar. . Par ab kahan jaunga yahan se mujhe khud bhi nahi pata. Yadon ka bojh kitna bhari hota hai. Yad rakhna Monks mujhe