Oyeee Monks.

O Monks! Janti hai? tu mere liye duniya ki sab se khoobsoorat ladki hai…Agar koi or tujh se achhi hai bhi to mujhe nahi janna us ke bare me. Isi wajah se mujhe tere alawa koi ladki achhi hi nahi lagti monks.. Par main tere liye duniya ka sab se achha ladka nahi hun na ab? Main tujhe itna pyar nahi kar saka na..k tu mere pass hi rahti...mera tujhe kam pyar karna hi wo wajah rahi hogi k tune bahoot pahle hi us se bat karna shuru kar diya tha. or us se batain karte karte tune kab mujhe bhula diya ye tujhe bhi pata nahi chala na? main janta hun k tu bahoot khush hai us ke sath, aisa tu hi to kahti hai.


Mere liye tujhe yad karte rahna hi bahoot hai. Tere sath beetaya samay yad karna kitna mazedar hai, ye tu nahi samjhegi abhi. wo wo din the jab tum mujh me khoyi rahti thi..or main tujh me. tere juda hone ka ahsas dooor tak kahin nahi tha...par tujhe tha shayad...Subah tujh se shuru hoti thi.or rat tere sath khatam...din me to tu mere samne hi to rahti thii hamesha. fir kuch aisa hua k sab kuchh badal gaya...ye sab shayad nahi badalta par wo aaya..or sab badal gaya. janti hai na tu isi wajah se main us se nafrat karta hun..us ne tujhe chhina monkchhi mujh se. or tu bhi to kitni aasani se chali gayi. or aisi gayi k wapis bhi nahi aana chahti. kaise kitna kuch bas yun hi badal jaya karta hai.

Pichhla kuch Baki

I was a trouble na Monks? But now no more...Na main tumko call karta hun, na tum mujhe. sms bhi aaya karte the tumhare ...ab wo bhi aane band ho gaye. Main samajh sakta hun agar tumne soch bhi liya hai k mujh se bat nahi karogi ab! par kya sach me mujhe phone na karna, ignore karna tumhe khushi dene laga hai? Uska ahsas itna strong hai k main ab tumhe yad nahi aata? Bahoot se ahsas, bahoot si yadain mere hi aaspas bikhri padi hain, tu to akele hi chali gayi thi na uske pas, kuch bhi to sath nahi le gayi, Usne poocha bhi hoga ye kyu khali hath aayi ho? or tum ne kitni aasani se kah diya hoga..k kya lati? kuch tha hi nahi lane ko. or usne bhi sach man liya hoga..Ek number ki actor jo ho...kab sach bolti ho or kab jhoot pata hi nahi chalta... par tere jane ke bad kabhi dil bhi nahi kiya mera k jhadoo uthoon or in idhar udhar bikhri padi yadon ko samet kar dustbin me dal dun. Aisa main kabhi kar bhi nahi paunga. Tera ek wooden kada abhi bhi mere pas hai, tujhe yad bhi hai ya nahi pata nahi, wahi brown color ka kadaa jo main aksar pahna karta tha..or ek bar wo toot gaya tha or maine use quickfix se jod bhi diya tha..uske bad main kabhi usko pahan bhi nahi paya ...nahi to wo toot jata...Rishte bhi aise hi hote hain na...ek bar toot jayain to phir jud to jate hain par phir un me wo bat nahi rahti. Yahi dar laga rahta hai k kahin fir se na toot jayain Ab tera us se bat karne ka time ho gaya hoga na? phir milte hain yahin kal ya fir parson.

Autumn of life

Jane kaise log hathon ki lakeeron se nikal jaya karte hain, phir kabhi na wapis aane ke liye, Chale jate hain phir ye bhi nahi dekhte k koi akela rah gaya hai peeche, wo jo kabhi sab se apna tha..wo jo aaj sab se paraya ho chuka hai. Ajeeb log or unse kuch ajeeb se rishte, bewajah se bane huye! fir bhi kisi nam k rishte se jyada pass or bhari.

Ek or Goodbye!!!!

Aaj uski baton se laga jaise wo chahti hai main use ab yad bhi na karun. Dheere dheere hi sahi wo batane lagi hai k kitne kareeb aa chuke hain wo log. Aaj jab maine usko puchha ke kya agar hamare beech me se sab problems hat jayain to kya tum mere pass wapis aana chahogi? Usne kaha 'pata nahi'. Mere liye ye sun na kafi tha sab kuch samjhne k liye. Wo ab mere pass wapis bhi nahi aana chahti. Wo usko ab itna jyada pasand karne lagi hai. Usne ye bhi kaha k wo us din shimla me milne k bad use ghar tak chhodne bhi aaya tha. or ye bhi k " mujhe lagta hai k main us ke sath bahoot khush rahungi" Main ye sab sun ne ke bare me soch kar hi kamp jata hun or tum kitni aasani se ye sab kah deti ho na. Ja Monks..jee le apni zindgi.

uski yad....baki kuch pass nahi

Kaisa akelapan hai ye? Akele ho ke bhi akela nahi. Itni yadain to hain sath me...roz ek ek yad ko, yadon se bhare bakse se nikalo..jhad ponchh kar saf karo...kya khoob chamak kar phir maze deti hai...phir niharte raho...der tak..or yad bhi aisi k tod de bas shareer ko...zindagi guzar jaye aise k pata bhi na chale, or lage k bas pichhli rat ki hi to bat hai..shhh uski yad..baki kuch pass nahi.

After Unfriending her....

aaj kitni bar tere calls ko cut kiya na..i kno tujhe bahoot bura laga hoga..maine kaha hai na tujhe k tera bar bar phone karna tujhe itni  taqleef nahi dega..jitna mujhe tere phone calls ko cut kar k hoti hai... main karun bhi to kya? kaise sah pata hun main ye main hi janta hun k tu or wo ek sath....soch kar hi ruh kamp jati hai...janti hai Monks?..agar teri life me wo nahi hota to main tujhe kabhi bhi yun nahi chhodta, na hi tujh se dooor jata. mujhe pata tha k mere door jane se bhi tu akeeli nahi hogi..or ye achhha bhi to hai...isliye chala gaya..par sach me kabhi bhi door to ja hi nahi paya...Hamesha se hi to tere pass me hi hun...bas thodi door se chupke chupke follow kar raha hun..tujhe badi hote dekh raha hun din par din. Ek din tu bahoot bada ho jayega....Itni himmat kash mujh me rahe k tera sath tab bhi na chhhodun.. Mere ander se kabhi mat jana..ek power milti hai tujh se...jo hamesha mere sath rahti hai. Love u my Monks.

Aaj uska phone aaya

O mera Monkchee...! tujhe bhool jaun aisa to hoga nahi na yar, aaj tera phone nahi uthaya to aisa mat sochiyo k sab khatam ho gaya. khuch to styles mere bhi sahan kar le, sare sitam karne ka tune hi soch kar rakha hai kya?.kuch to thoda sa hi sahi tu bhi tadaf k dekh. kaisa feel hota hai? nahi saha jata na. mere bare me kabhi to, kabhi to meri monks ..soch k to dekh..kaisa lagta hoga mujhe jab ..rat ko tum batain karti hogi us se or main usi samay jagta hua bas teri yadon me khoya tujhe mahsoos karta hunga...us mahsoos karne me tera parayapan jab mahsooos hota hoga to tujhe lagta hai..k main so pata hunga? Sona to mumkin nahi na..chain mil jaye to bhi bahoot hai na? Karoon bhi ti kya? tera kasooor bhi to nahi hai na Monkchee...Bas fir bhi agar kuch hai tere dil me baki mere liye..to sahti rah tu bhi....tera to pata nahi hai mujhe monks sachhi,par maine ek or ladki ki zinndgi bhi kharab kar di hai, or wo ladki aabhi to mere sath nahi hai..par jab kabhi wo hogi,  wo mera pyar nahi jo pa payegi yar...Damn

aaaj mera tet ka result aaya to tujhe meri yad aayi Monkchee...? phir jane kab koi result aaye kya tu tb ka wait karti mujhe sms ya phir phone karne k liye? Do rishte kabhi ek sath nahi chal sakte Monks, nahi chal sakte. Abhi ke liye tu wahi sambhal jo tujhe lagta hai jyada jaroori hai....Love u Monkchee pong

13/46 Memories Lane..too dark, too alone

Taqleef ye bat nahi deti k wo badal gaya, taqleef to tab hoti hai jab jab yad aata hai k wo kaisa hua karta tha. Mera monks, mera to tha...kab kisi or ka ho gaya pata hi nahi chala. Sab kuchh ab naya to hai mere tere liye, mere liye ye naye naye shahar, naye log or naya samay. fir bhi kyo sare naye pal teri yadon k sath hi beet te hain.kyu har jagah bus teri hi yadain hain...sare naye chehron me tujhe hi dhunda karta hun..Tu aa ja na ye sab theek karne Monks. tera Neeji ab bi tujhe bahoot yad karta hai.

unfriending her...

Aaj usko facebook se unfriend kar diya. or karta bhi kya ...meri wajah se wo usko friend bhi nahi bana paa rahi thi. jb ki real life me wo shayad us me itni gum hai k wo mujhe bhi bhool chuki hai. fb ye sab artificial world me friend hone se kya fark padta hai waise bhi? yahan real life me hi usko mere liye fursat nahi. Mujhe aajkal koi bhi naye songs achhe nahi lagte...khaskar Vicky dono k..kyo ki shayad wo sunti hai un songs ko uske liye..so mujhe achhhe nahi lagte..mukhtsar mulaqat hai bhi achha nahi lagta..or na "hona tha pyar" ...koi love story, love scenes kuch bhi nahi achhha lagta. pahle travel karte samay hamesha songs hi sunta rahta tha ghanto..par ab wo bhi man nahi karta...m living from outside but dying from inside. sab kuch us se hi tha...ab wo nahi to kuch bhi nahi.

ek or din.ek or rat....uske bina

meri soch ki duniya...kitni chhoti kitni badi! chhoti si duniya isliye k bas wo hi to basti hai is me. uske siwa kuch nahi, kuch bhi nahi. na garmiyon ki shamo ki thandak ka maza, na hi koi or khushi. hmmmm..badi isliye k kitni yadain uski jo har pal muje satati hain...kitni batain kabhi khatam hi nahi hongi. Tum ja chuki ho..mujhe pata hai, nayi duniya tumhari, jisme mere liye koi jagah nahi. hai na Monkchee? khud par se vishwas uth gaya Monks tere aisa karne se. Tujhe pata hai k main pal pal mar raha hun tere bagair, phir bhi tu ek bar bhi palat kar nahi dekhti. Kitni khush hai tu apni duniya me! pata hai Monkchee! jis din tu ye samjhegi na, tu bahoot royegi meri Monks. kash aisa kabhi na ho. par aisa hua na agar to  main teri tarah nahi karunga, main wapis tere pas hi hunga Monks. Abhi ja tu jahan tu ja rahi hai...par jab bhi kabhi wo tere hathon ko chhuega na monks..or us se bhi jyada kuchh...tujhe meri yad to aayegi Monkchee, mujhe ye pata hai. O meri Monks...sach me ye sab kitna achha hai na, k tu itni khush hai k tujhe meri bilkul yad hi nahi aati. Kabhi agar meri jaisi feelings tu jee kar dekhegi na, to tu itna tootegi na Monks k tujhe abhi iska koi guman nahi hai. par tu dariyo mat main tere aas pass hi hunga kahin. Par bus ek bar pukar lena..mujhe apne sath paogi.

Another day in my life I am insecure.

M I got broken up with you today? ya fir teri meri dosti ki ye ek nayi shuruaat hai? Aaj tujhse itni batain kar ke dil karta hai k ek chhote se bag me hamari kuch chuni huyi yadain mostly wo jinko main kabhi nahi bhula sakta, pack karun or bas chala jaun, teri uski zindagi se door...Par jab bhi tujhe meri jaroorat ho main hun tere sath..par tab tak ke liye Meri Monks... bas chala jaoon, chala jaoon, chala jaoon. or tujhe yad bhi na aaoon. kya main apne past se bahar aa raha hun? naaaaaaaaaaa... i..to kya hai phir ye? Aaj tune bata hi diya na k how much you feel for him. I am no much special for you monks...janta hun abhi tujhe bhi ye nahi pata..par tu alag kar chuki hai mujhe khud se jane anjane...tu bhi par kabhi mujhe bhula to nahi payegi..ye mujhe bhi pata hai...Some day you will miss me when I will go.

We laughed, we talked, we fought, we loved, we lived a complete love life. I liked everything about being in a relationship with you. No regrets.

I am a real headache & a mistake for u now. M causing nothing but trouble. Main samajh sakta hun agar tum mujh se kabhi bat hi na karo, or agar tum 'its over' wali feelings se bhi mujhe treat karogi, usme bhi mujhe koi problem honi hi nahi chahiye...u wil always be right my Monks. Waise bhi tujhe mujh se bhi achha wo mil gaya hai, khoya hai to bas sab kuch maine.

Confession

Mujhe maaf kar de meri Monkchee. Mafi mangne layak bhi nahi main..Bus tu khush rahe..or mujhe phir kuch nahi chahiye meri Monks. Main khud ham dono ke liye kuch nahi kar saka..bus selfish sa tujhe hamesha kosta rahata hun...m such a coward & a big big looser. Zindagi bhar ki tanhayi mil chuki hai mujhe. Ab is se badi saza kya hogi mere liye. But kasam se Monks..do sal ki zindagi jo jee tere sath bas wahi samay tha jisko yad kar main hamesha ye mahsoos kar paunga k, meri zindgi bekaar nahi gayi. Tere sath bitaye har pal abhi bhi mujhe waise hi yad hain...wo pal jisme hamne toot kar pyar kiya, wo pal jisme khoob sari ladayi bhi ki..sab wo pal meri zindgi ka saransh hain. M proud to be have u in my life. Tune meri zindagi badal dee Monks..nahi to main aisa Neeraj jise tune bhi pyar kiya, kabhi nahi ban pata. Love u meri jan.

Few Good Bye SMSs !!!!!

To Monks- Lets not call or sms to each other atleast for 10 days. I wil not pic ur calls. u have moved on so much. N its good too. But I cant live an ignored life with you anymore monks. I dont want consolodatory calls or sms of urs. Pichhle dino jab tum us se bat kar rahi hoti thi to main puri puri rat sota nahi tha tere reply ke wait me.Tujhe ye sab pata tha fir bhi? Our world is no more exists now. It is like a dying relationship.Ab wo feelings wapis nahi aa payengi. But we have so much to remember na. 4 u its much easy to do or not to miss me as you have done so many times easily. its my turn now. let me go. u kno I will be ok now. No other girl will take ur place aisi koi hai hi nahi. Tujh se bhi koi shikayat nahi. U r a sweetheart. I kno you dont want to hurt me, thats y u hide things. Love u for this.M out. Liv ur life.
29.05.2012 10:29 pm

From Monks- Good morning. Just read ur msg. Neeji u go n llive ur life too. i 'will be happy if u will find someone. As far as my life is concerned, its full of confusions. PLzz forgiv me for what i have done with u...i dont understand wt m dooing..bt i hate myself. You have to hate me too neeji only then you will be able to forget me. U go neeji..n i wish dat u have smone best u kno..bye neeji..bye
30.5.2012 7:10 am


To Monks- U r doing nothing wrong. N y i should hate u? m sad coz i have lost u. meri monxi ab kisi or k sath? Just cant live with this. N u dont have time & feelings left too n i have felt that Monx. Maine bhi last year tere sath yahi kiya tha or tu chali gayi. Par maine aisa kisi or k liye nahi kiya tha. Let it all. jb b dil kare Monkchee call kar laiyo. Tera neeji hamesha phone uthayega. Bas kuch din ruk ja. Ek bar tere gale lag kar rona baki rah gaya. Lov u monkchi pong. wil nvr forget u
30.5.2012 7:23 am

FlashBack-1

Jab kabhi DIET ke dino me ghar jana hota tha to Monkchee ki bas ek hi khawaish hoti thi, or wo thi KASAAR. Monks ko Kasaar bahoot pasand tha. Main bhi jab jab jata, Mumma ko bolta or Mumma jhat pat bana kar de deti. Anki usko paa kar bahoot khush hoti. Kitni chhoti chhoti cheezaio se bhi Monks khush ho jaya karti thi. Uski us ek hansee mujhe kamzor karne k liye kafi hoti thi. Wo aksar class me thoda sa Kasaar le kar aati roz..fir mujhe de deti chup k se. .Main aksar usko tease karta rahta tha..ek din wo thoda saa Kasaar thoda thoda kar ke bant rahi thi sabhi ko. Mujhe jo diya, usme se bahoot sa bhag maine sandeep ko de diya. usko ye dekh kar bahoot gussa aaya, Usne phir se mujhe apne hisse ka Kasaar diya or bola ke ye ab Sandeep ko mat dena, ye aap k liye hai..plz isko aap hi khana. Maine usko tease karne k liye wo sara kasaar sandeep ko de diya...Monks ko is par bahoot gussa aaya. Sandeep ya Pinku ne poocha k Anki kyo gussa hai? Maine bola ke us ne jo Kasaar mere liye laya tha wo maine sandeep ko de diya isliye Gussa hai. ye sun te hi Monks ne apne hath me rakha kasaar gusse se mere chehre par de mara. or phir us sham ya phir shayad agle din tak bhi mujh se udas rahi. Aisi thi wo..Par ham dono kuchh hi der ruthe rah sakte the ek doosre se.....Ek baar phir se rooth ja Monks...main phir se tujhe waise hi manana chahta hun...aaja ek bar phir se.

Monkchee se batain..

Monkchee...hey. kaisa hai? busy busy with him on phone!!! he he...chor kahin ka!! Mujhe ek dam se kyu bhul gaya Monkchee. Meri yad bilkul bhi nahi aati? Jab jab usne tujhe I love you bola hai, kya tera dil bilkul waise hi dhadka hai, jaise mere liye dhaka tha? Kya tu bhi usko wapis I love you bolta hoga? Mujh se badnaseeb bhi koi hoga kya Is duniya me jo apne samne apni Girl friend ko kisi or ki hota dekh raha hai, or chah kar bhi kuch nahi kar sakta. Din me bahoot kam aise pal honge jab un palon me tu na beete. Kuch aatma watma wala rishta juda hai yar tujh se. to fir kaise juda ho payega tu. mere har sans me, meri ragon me tu hi to daudta hai. hamesha jab bhi tujhe mahsoos karta hun..ek ajeeb sa nasha, ek ajeeb sa dar,, or ek ajeeb see neend aane lagti hai..Doctor iskko low blood pressure kahte hain..haha..tu mere dimag ke sath sath ab body ko bhi control karne lagi? he he!!!!! Kaise beetegi ye zindgi tujh bin monks. Kisi or ka main kaise ho paunga ab? Mujh me ab koi pyar kisi ke liye baki nahi hai, sab to tu le ja chuki apne sath. Ab kuch baki nahi mujh me. Main impotent jaisa ho gaya hun yar..kuch feel hi nahi kar pata kisi k liye bhi.... ohhh tujhe uska call aane wala hoga..or tu bhi soch rahi hogi k kab main jaoon.....chal fir bye.

Wo hamsafar sa...

Meri Monx kaisi hogi? Do din se bat bhi nahi huyi? usne kah jo diya ke Neeji han ! main or wo late night calls bhi karte hain ek doosre ke sath. mujhe ye sab pahle se to pata tha, tujh se mere samne kuchh chhupta to hai nahi. meri Monkchee mere liye hi to sab jhoot bolti rahi..k kahin main toot na jaoon. Hamesha mujhe ek practical aadmi bolti thi, par samay aane par practical decision usi ne liya. Mujhe chhdone ka practical decision. ye end hai ya ek naya start? Aisa kyo hota hai k ham sath sath chalte to hain par sath sath pahunchte kahin nahi. Ye zindagi kaise kaise mod par le aati hai. Shuru me sab kuch aisa jaise Geele geele bahoot se rang kisi canvas par failne ko bekrar, failte bhi hain, ek adhoori si tasweer bhi ubharti hai par fir ye rang feeke hote jate hain or fir aati hai ek black & white nayi duniya jahan safed Dhund se bhare raste hain, jahan kuch dikhta hi nahi, pahle unhi rahon par sath sath chalte hain, phir achanak hath choot jata hai, par phir bhi kayi sal aisa guman hota hai k hath hi to chuuta hai to kya hua, wo hai to yahin sath me hi to chal raha hai. fir jab waqt ek lamba sa mod leta hai kareeb ded sal lamba mod, to pata chalta hai, jiske sath hone ka guman tha wo ab sath nahi, wo to ab rah badal chuka hai, ek nayi rah, ek naya rasta jo hamari zindagi wale raste k sath sath hi chalta hai kabhi door ho jata hai, kabhi pass, or kabhi bas thodi der ke liye hi hamare raste me bhi mil jata hai, fir dhund chhant ti hai to dikhata hai wahi hamsafar jo kabhi hamare sath chal raha tha, ab kisi or ka hamsafar ho gaya hai, chal wo bhi raha hai par rasta alag hai, hath bhi alag ab nazron me wo chamk nahi, jo ek dusre ko dekh kar aati thi. Fir dil ek lambi si aah bharta hai or sochta hai k wo kaun sa pal tha jab uska hath chuta tha, agar nahi chuta hota to wo sath me hota.

Tune mujh se cigarette peena to apni kasam de kar chhuda diya, ek bar palat kar dekh to leti k kitna mushqil ho gaya hai ab jeena. Tu nahi thi isliye to ciigarete peeta tha..tu ab bhi nahi..or ab cigarette bhi nahi. Tere bagair kuch hai hi nahi Monks..tu thi to sab kuch tha mere pass. Ab jaise lagta hai k kuch baki nahi raha. M shocked to see how much you have involved youself into him. M just shocked to see your behavior Monks. Tune to mujhe bhula hi diya yar. Itna neglected & ignored maine kabhi bhi feel nahi kiya. Aisa us me kya hai? Tujhe pata hai tere bagair main kitna pareshan hun..tune tab bhi mujhe ignore kiya na Monks. Main teri jagah hota to aisa kabhi nahi karta.

Bus ride with her..

Pichhle kal tum phir se wahi purani meri Monks lag rahi thi. tera mere kandhe par or God me sar rakh kar sona aaj bahoot yad aa raha hai. Tere hathon me kal k jaisi massage kash main zindagi bhar kar sakta, jab jab tu taklif me hoti. Tu fir se mili, or fir se bichhad gayi. Ek or pyari si yad mere-tere yadon ke khazane me jud gayi, kabhi na bhulne k liye, main thoda sa or ameer ho gaya. Hum pahle bhi kayi bar to aaye hain sath-sath apne apne ghar ke liye, fark sirf itna tha k pahle tu hamesha mujh se bichhadte huye udas ho jaya karti thi, par Is bar tu udas nahi thi. Chor pakdi gayi na!!! Par kal main apne mental conflicts se kahin door bas tere sath tha.

Or ek aaj ka din hai, kitna udas. Sometimes past makes present beautiful, somtimes makes unhappy, alone & sad.

Guzri tarikhain...2009-10

Wo
khoobsoorat din
guzar gaye
phir kabhi na laut kar aane k liye

ab bas kuch
gungunati si hawayain
aati hain..
un dino ki
bheegi bheegi si yadain lekar

jo
phir thahra karti hain
der tak
aankhon me
boondain bankar

missing you my Monx

Badaltey Rishtey

huye na begaane bhi
tum hoke aur ke,
Dekho tum na mere hi bane

Tera Intezaar...jaise intezaar zindagi ka

Bahoot dino se tum dooor us ke sath jati dikhayi to de rahi thi....Beete kuchh dino se tera dikhna kuch dhundla sa ho gaya tha..par aaj to tum doooor tak kahi bhi dikhayi nahi de rahi Monx. Ek bar peeeche mud kar dekh to le...tere bina kitna akela rah gaya hun. EK aakhri bar jee bhar kar gale to lagne de..ek aakhiri bar jee bhar kar ro to lene de. Main nahi Rokunga tujhe Monks. Bas ek bar phir se wapis jane ke liye aa ja. Abhi kuchh din or tera intezaar yahin par khada karoonga Monx. Tu aayegi na?

Love Hurts

Love hurts & hits hard to the core.

Main yad aaoonga..

Monk & Chee

Jao tum..sapno ke safar me

jago ge jo mahki sahar me

main yad aaoonga.

jitna bhi mujh ko bhulaoge

jitna bhi door tum jaoge

main yad aaoonga.

jab dil se tum muskuraoge..

ashq kaise fir rok paoge..

jo yad aaoonga.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCF9SJUmmvk 

Wo ab Ajnabi sa Mujh se Milta hai..

Mere liye sab se mushqil kam tujhe uske pass jane dena tha monks. Wo main kar chuka. Tu chali gayi par ab tera mujh se yun ajnabi ke jaise milna nahi saha jata. Maine ye to nahi socha tha ke tum yun mujhe bhula dogi. Kitni aasani se tu mujhe samjha rahi thi k Neeji kisi se mil, batain kar or fir sab theek ho jayega.


Jaise tumhare sath sab theek ho gaya na Monks? Kitni aasani se tum ne mujhe out kar diya. Fir main kyo nahi kar saka aisa? Janta hun ab tum mujhe yad nahi karti par Kabhi to koi to ek aisa pal aayega jab tum bhi mujhe fir se waise hi yad karogi, jaise pahle kiya karti thi or jaise main tujhe har pal ab bhi karta hun


.Main janta hun tujhe bhula doon to mere sath sab theek ho jayega. Par kyo main tujhe fir bhulana hi nahi chahta...Mujhe pata hai bas isi tarah hi to tu mere pass me hai hamari yadain bankar.jab chahe tujhe yad kar k tujh se batain kar sakta hun. or aksar karta bhi to hun..meri baton k jawab bhi tum kya dogi, mujhe wo bhi to pata hai na Monks. Agar bhula diya maine tujhe to tujhe kho dunga, fir kya rahega mere pass tera? to kaise bhula sakta hun fir?.Ab mujhe tujhe yad karte rahne me ajeeb sa maza aane laga hai.

 .

How could you?

You broke me, you broke my heart,
you broke everything including my Soul.
You turned my world upside down and inside out,
BUT I know it was worth it for
that one moment of love we had, I loved you like i loved my Mom.
Only sad thing is, it went worst in the end.
Why you hide things like this My Monks.
Do you kno that I kno you are that much involved as you were with me.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Did you really crossed the limits Monks? AAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
How could you? How??????????????????????????????????


Still missing you Monks after knowing that you are not the same My Monks.

Mujh se koi bat to kar..!

Mujh se koi bat to kar Monkchee...Bas yun hi do minute k liye hi sahi...Jhoot hi sahi...mera dil rakhne k liye hi sahi...phone to kar le My Monks..Pichhle kal se tere ek sms ka wait kar raha hun....tujh bin bahoot bechainee ho rahi hai. Is tarah kyo badal gayi tum Monks. Tune to kaha tha k jitne bhi din main Shimla aayi hun ham roz milenge. Parson tu kitni khush thi...main janta hun is khushi ka karan...or main tujhe yun khush dekh kar khush bhi hun Monks...bas dukh is bat ka hai.. teri is khushi me main tere ander se mit ta ja rah hun. Aaj tune yahan aane k liye kaha hai, tu nahi aane wali hai na.?

Tujh bin Monks main, main hi nahi raha. I lost u, i lost myself.

Wo ja Rahi hai...

Ab uske sms sirf morning me or din ko hi aane lage hain. wo bhi bahoot kam. Ab wo rat me na sms karti hai na call. mere sms ka reply bhi nahi karti. Wo ratain jo kabhi sirf mere liye thi ab wo kisi or ki ho gayi hain. Wo mujhe kyo ignore kar rahi hai shayad ye bhi main janta hun. Seedhe seedhe kah bhi nahi sakti na, ke Chheeki main ek naye rishte ki taraf ja chuki hun. mujhe bhool jao.
Main itne din se yahi to chah raha tha k bas wo khush rahe, kahin aisa na ho ke wo mujhe yad karti rahe. Agar aisa hota to main to jee hi nahi pata. thank God problem me main hun, wo nahi. M happy for you Monkchee.

FUCK this LIFE

Na usko cheen sakta hun, na usko jane de sakta hun, na hi khud ko mar sakta hun..Itna bebas kabhi mahsoos nahi kiya khud ko...I really wish k mera accident ho jaye..or main kuch 4-5 sal ke liye COMA me chala jaoon. Phir jab uthun to pata chale ke kitna kuchh badal gaya. Shayad tab itni frustration na ho..or shayad tab thoda aasan ho sab kuchh accept karna.. Thats the only solution to get over from this depression.

Kuch baki.....

janti ho? k mujhe pata hai abhi tum us se bat kar rahi hogi. I love you bhi bolti ho kya? us k sath bhi whispering me batain karti ho? Meri yad bhi aa jati hai kya kabhi kabhi beech me? usko tumhari sanson ki awazain bhi aati hongi jab tum kuch nahi bol rahi hoti hogi.   aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soch kar hi kuch kar baithne ka dil kar ta hai. hathon ki ungliyon se lekar pairon ki ungliyon tak kuch aisa feel hota hai jaise kitni hi lakhon suiyan chubbha di ho kisi ne or ab thodi hi der me ye Hath Paon kam karna band kar denge.  kal se tum ne mere sms k reply bhi nahi kiye. main tumhare one liner reply se samjh gaya tha monx k tum us k sath phone par busy ho ya chatting kar rahi ho. Aaj ek bat to pata chal gayi k jisne bhi kaha tha "pyar ek hi bar hota hai"..wo galat tha...dusri bar bhi ho sakta hai. pata chal gaya. Tumhe pata hai? tum se alag alag rahte huye jab bhi main shimla aata tha mujhe sab wo jagah dekhne ka dil karta tha jahan jahan hum bar bar jaya karte the or baithe rahte the ya walk karte the, par aaj jiase hi kisi ne kaha k "Choice" chalte hain, mujh se wahan jaya hi nahi gaya..agar main wahan chala jata na to pakka ro padta. Main apne hathon me ab bhi tumhare hathon ki chhuan mahsoos kar sakta hun monx. Meri bahon me abhi bhi hamare hug ki garmi baki hai. Maine aaj tak kabhi socha hi nahi k tum kisi or ki bhi ho sakti ho. Main tumhe share nahi kar sakta. aadhi adhoori jitni bhi bachi ho mere ander, wahan se chali jao tum plz. Kuch baki mat rakhna. Main to himmat nahi kar paa raha k tum ko nikal doon. kabhi kar bhi nahi paunga. khud hi chali jao.

 Tum wahi ho na? NAhi ab tum meri tum nahi ho. wo aisi ho hi nahi sakti..meri wo mar gayi..tum ne mar diya us ko. Itni himmat kaise juta payi tum monx? I cant believe tumhe us se pyar ho gaya? Ek din wo meri Monx ko chhuega bhi.....!!!!!!!!!!!! tab tak to mere aansoo bhi sukh chuke honge, tab bhi kya ye aankain bheeg payengi?
           

Yadon ka bojh kitna bhari hota hai

Pichhle do din or khaskar Beeti rat mere liye aaj tak ki sab se boori rat thi. Shayad wo mujhse bat karne k bad chain se soyi, usne apna sara bojh jo utar diya tha, is bat se anjan k Ab wo sara bojh mujhe uthana hai, rat bhar uthaya, abhi jane kitne din or uthana padega, ya phir sari zindagi. Par main janta hun ab wo kitni relax hogi. Aaj ham ne ek doosre ko kho diya ya kho kar paa liya pata nahi.  Wo chali gayi ek naye raste par, use koi mil jo gaya tha, main ab bhi wahin baitha hun us bojh k sath. Usne theek to kiya, us se mujhe koi Gila bhi to nahi. Akhir kab tak rahti mere sath, akhir kab tak intezar karti.....tum hamesha rahogi mere sath mera ahsas bankar. . Par ab kahan jaunga yahan se mujhe khud bhi nahi pata. Yadon ka bojh kitna bhari hota hai. Yad rakhna Monks mujhe

A Message to Neel-

 tumhara msg
hamesha ki tarah,
jaise aaya ho
meelon maidano se chal kar,
jane kitni hi pahadiyon ki pagdandiyon se chadte- utarte.
bahoot thaka thaka sa lagta hai.
kuch der aaram kar le to poochunga,
k kahan se chal k itni door tak aaye?